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Posts Tagged ‘Park City’

www.fabelphotography.com

It’s been exactly one month since President Obama took office and I left office. It is a surreal experience to watch someone so intelligent, dedicated, and diplomatic run our country, while at the same time I am one of the statistics that he is continuously mentioning in his news conferences.

The piece of advice (more like sympathy clause), that I have heard most over the last month is “Things happen for a reason.” This particular saying is prefaced by my explanation of how ironic it was that I wanted to go back to school, started the admissions process and was subsequently laid off. However, I do not believe things happen for a reason, I believe that I am in control of my next move. Obviously, I was not in control of keeping or losing my job (positive thinking only goes so far). But the next move, did not happen by chance, I controlled it.

I know many people believe in that mantra of things happening for a reason and I do not denounce that belief, I just have a different internal measure. Sure, the past month has been scary at times. I have cried way too much, not over losing my job, but for being afraid of what comes next. Humans are easily adaptable, but often cling to what they know versus the unknown. I love not knowing what comes next in life, but I also fear it.

Looking back over the past month, the unknown gave me a swift kick in the ass and I liked it! I signed up for the GRE and Kaplan tutoring, made a new friend (my tutor!), baked my first raspberry pie, reconnected with old high school buddies, booked a flight to Southeast Asia, shredded the gnar at Park City Mountain, The Canyons, and Solitude, figured out the setting and point of view for my book, studied my buttocks off for the GRE, learned new vocab words like banal (sounds dirty, but unfortunately means nothing more than boring or cliché), and have finally realized my dream of writing a book. The book is no longer something I will just talk about conceptually, but hopefully it will be the project that I spend the next two plus years completing. And what’s even more amazing is that I will write the book as my thesis for school. I could be the first in my family to obtain a Master’s Degree and that feels bigger than life.

I have had 75% of my high school friends go back to school after they finished undergrad whether to medical school, business school, grad school, studying public health, finance, physical therapy, and radiation. But I never thought that I could be one of them. I am not exactly sure why; it just did not seem like something “I” would do. I know better now. I had forced myself into thinking I could only be one thing – a PR executive. And while I had not wanted to be that one thing for the rest of my life, I just kept going back to it because it was familiar. I guess what I figured out this past month is that I might be scared of the unknown future, but fear will not stop me from trying something new. Maybe I’ll fail…but maybe, just maybe, I won’t.

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